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    Invalidating mother

    The first time I realized that it was MY body that was violated I sat stunned, repeating over and over again; “That happened to me… ” I finally connected one horrible and frightening event to myself.

    I was shocked that I’d never realized that it happened to ME and in fact I was realizing it for the very first time.

    The emotional processes which worked for him as a child may begin to work against him as an adult. of Duke University supports the idea that invalidation leads to mental health problems.

    invalidating mother-15invalidating mother-51invalidating mother-72

    The dissociation in itself is the coping method.)I also developed multiple personality disorder (now known as dissociative identity disorder), which means in my case, that I fragmented or split into multiple personalities as a method of survival.

    I believed that I had wonderful, hard working parents who did their best for me. I had no frame of reference for any other way of life. I had to validate the pain that being devalued, dismissed and treated as “not quite valid” as a person had an effect on me. I dissociated (hence the term “dissociative identity disorder) and dissociating enabled me to cope.(Regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder and Multiple Personality Disorder ~ not everyone who has dissociative identity disorder or dissociative issues, fragments into alter personalities.

    I constantly looked to those “less fortunate” in order to beat myself up about how “ungrateful” that I was. I had to face that although I had been “told” that I was a liar and an exaggerator, I did in fact know the truth about at least some of the things that had happened to me and that those things were wrong. Many people who have dissociative identity do just that ~ they dissociate from their identity.

    A sensitive child who is repeatedly invalidated becomes confused and begins to distrust his own emotions.

    He fails to develop confidence in and healthy use of his emotional brain-- one of nature's most basic survival tools.

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