If you are a single girl who can identify with my own personal manifesto, by all means, share! This piece was originally published in Stella's It's too easy for us women to convince ourselves to settle for less.
Finally, and I think this one is so important that I'm calling it out: Prioritize your own wants and needs before all else. This presents the perspective of a heterosexual (mostly) female.
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I don’t read singleness/relationships books very often (in fact, the last time I read one from cover to cover was probably 2011, although articles and posts on the internet are another matter….) but I decided I didn’t want to miss a book by Boundless’s own Lisa Anderson.
Are they always wanting you to be on their turf, at their home, with their friends, on their personal errands and activities, and involved heavily in conversations about THEM?
Don’t be annoying by accepting future dates you aren’t interested in or by misleading someone in any way.
After all, Lisa is hilarious, straight-talking, and still single herself, so she’s living what she’s writing.
Lisa subtitled her book “A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose”, which summarises the book pretty well.
Don’t end up dating someone just because you’re both available. Or because the other person won’t give up and really, really likes you (even though that feels goood). It feels much better to be with someone who enthusiastically wants to be with you.
“Here are a few of the mantras I commonly received—see if any of them sound familiar: “Make sure you can support yourself; it’s a tough world out there!
” “You’re so smart; you don’t want to waste your intelligence [implied: by getting married too soon].” “We’re expecting big things from you.” “You have your whole life ahead of you—have fun while you can!
We're all just a little bit lost sometimes, trying to figure out the rules of a game we may or may not even want to be playing in the first place.
Take what you like, drop what you don't, add your own parts along the way.